Spiritual Bypassing

The Gathering
Written By Amy Hogan

On March 7, Mantra Yoga Collective hosted The Gathering, community talks on the intersections of practicing yoga and social justice issues. This month’s conversation was about spiritual bypassing.


Spiritual Bypassing defined

The term spiritual bypassing was first coined in 1984 by a transpersonal psychotherapist named John Welwood in his book Toward a Psychology of Awakening and is defined as a “tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.”[1] A simplified definition would be a tendency to use spiritual explanations to avoid complex psychological issues.

Welwood wrote that spiritual bypassing is often used to compensate for low self-esteem, social isolation, or other emotional issues, and can corrupt the actual use of a spiritual practice.[2] By using spiritual bypassing as an emotional mask to hide from problems and challenges, it becomes a form of avoidance and repression and can be extremely harmful if not addressed.

How spiritual bypassing shows up

Anger can be used as a trigger for spiritual bypassing. A primary feeling is what is felt immediately before feeling anger. Anger is often considered a secondary emotion because it is used to protect or hide other vulnerable feelings. [3] Anger is often a mask for pain, fear, or pride being pricked.

Welwood wrote that anger is an empty wave that arises in the ocean of consciousness, often without an external provocation. This emotion or feeling can also lead to spiritual bypassing. Anger can be overwhelming because it often stems from suppressed emotions that are not being addressed.[2]

It is important to spend time acknowledging the types of challenging emotions that are being bypassed or ignored. The most effective response is to acknowledge the emotion, sit with the emotion, and honor the emotion without any form of suppression. Stay calm as these intense feelings arise and try not to give the challenging emotion any power or let the emotion overwhelm the mind. [2]


Some signs of emotional bypassing include, but are not limited to, the following:[2]

• Not focusing on the here and now; living in a “spiritual realm” much of the time.

• Overemphasizing the positive and avoiding the negative.

• Being self-righteous about the concept of enlightenment.

• Being overly detached.

• Being overly idealistic.

• Having feelings of entitlement.

• Exhibiting frequent anger.

• Engaging in cognitive dissonance (the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change)[4].

• Being overly compassionate.

• Pretending that everything is okay even though the situation is not okay.


Tend to yourself with love and care

One of the best tools to prevent spiritual bypassing is the practice of self-love or self-care.

Welwood observed that many of his clients sought his advice when they came to a crossroads in their life, where a personality issue or a relationship problem was not being resolved despite having a committed spiritual practice. He quickly learned that even though his clients had practiced sophisticated spiritual practices, they often did not practice self-love or self-care. [2]

Self-love or self-care looks different to everyone. The end goal is to recharge the body, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

When individuals are recharged, they are then able to be more resilient to their environments as situations change. Creating resilient individuals creates a stronger community who is then able to pour out love and light to the world. This is akin to the Norm Kelly quote, “You can't pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.”

When we learn to take care ourselves, we learn to love the body we are in for our limited time on this planet. Other suggestions to prevent spiritual bypassing include practicing acceptance, taking rests (or even entire sabbath days), and practicing self-compassion.

Calls to Action:

Contemplate: Reflect on your own tendencies when faced with challenging emotions.

  • Do you see yourself represented in Welwood’s list of signs of spiritual bypassing?

  • In what ways are your responses to challenging emotions related to your personal privilege?

  • What is one simple way that you can invite yourself to sit with difficult emotions? 

  • What scares you most about confronting the ways you spiritually bypass? What might help you mitigate that fear?

Learn: Take a look at the resources cited from this post + more reading:

[1] Spiritual bypass. (2021, March 17). In Wikipedia.

[2] Raab, Ph.D., D. (2019, January 23). What is Spiritual Bypassing? John Welwood, who coined the term, died this week. Psychology Today.

[3] Anger: A Secondary Emotion (Managing Anger/Anger Iceberg). (n.d.). CR Education. Retrieved March 17, 2021, from

[4] Oxford Lexico. (2021). Cognitive Dissonance. In Oxford English Dictionary.

Avoid Spiritual Bypassing by Melissa Shah. August 5, 2020. Anti-Racism Daily.

Recommended leaders in Spiritual Bypassing to learn from (from above ARD article)

Act: help provide folks access to wellness and mental health resources + care for yourself

Give: If you have the means to do so, make financial contributions to equity work. 

  • Donate to BEAM, a non-profit organization committed to the mental health of Black communities. (resource found through Anti-Racism Daily issue “Support Black mental health”)

  • Donate to the teachers and leaders listed above

  • Contribute to our Community Fund, which goes toward making our mark in the wellness world more equitable. Members and corporate clients can contribute monthly or as one-time gifts that go to pay our teachers to offer free classes. We also use the Community Fund to offer scholarship spots reserved for marginalized folks for all of our workshops and events.

Share: Ways you can support our work.

  • Send this blog post to someone you know

  • More perspective = more opportunity for understanding. Share your thoughts and experiences with us. Invite folks to the next conversation. 

  • Spread the word about future Gatherings on social media.

The Next Gathering

Sunday, 3/28 at 3pm CT in the zoom room! MYC yoga teacher, Erika Lown will be leading our conversation.

REGISTER HERE!

—Coleen (she/her)

Amy Hogan
Previous

Triti Ahouraei Life Coaching
Next

Becoming a Better Ally